i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
