butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize