at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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