My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
