Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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