oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
