don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
