idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
