In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
