I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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