I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Randomize
