Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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