i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
