bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
i think i have two assholes
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize