well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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