if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
