I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
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