seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
You're earring is so big in my mouth
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
