I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
