This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
