dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
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