Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
