I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
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