dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Randomize