I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
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