apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
