we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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