so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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