i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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