IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
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