She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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