i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
