It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
