You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize