somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
