i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
