remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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