your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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