just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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