dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
