dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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