You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
