I feel like abortions should bother me more
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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