I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
