So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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