actually, I'm a sock model
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
