This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
