you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
