she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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