well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
