i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
