Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
