I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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