dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
We have so much sex to catch up on
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
