When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
