lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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