Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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