Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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