We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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