They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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