He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
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